4.15.2012

i hate drama

I'm uncomfortable. I don't know what to think and I don't want to believe certain things and I don't know motivations or rationale behind one of my friends. I don't want to jump to conclusions and I need to speak to her directly. EE's going to talk incessantly about it and be really extreme and alarmist and think the worst of it because that's just her, but it really makes me uncomfortable when she does that. I want to form my own opinions and I don't exactly trust hers, especially with her analysis of me. I don't think SM and EE are a good pair. They support each other and are good friends but they exacerbate each other's notions, even if their initial notions are correct and sound and then everything just blows up out of proportion. But it's likely that I'm just wrong about everything because that's who I am. I don't want to be in the middle of everything I just want to shut everything out but I still want to know. I want everything to be right in the world I need to speak with VK I need to speak with VK I need to speak with VK.

I'm thinking about what would happen if someone random at my school got a hold of my blog and honestly I don't even think I'd care but that's just me. I have some secrets but those I will never ever talk or post or write about anywhere, if only because it makes them concrete and real. I have successful avoided all friend drama basically since freshman year. Now that I have close-ish friends I get entangled in all their drama and it makes me anxious.

I hope VK comes to school tomorrow I want to talk to her in person I want to hear everything she has to say texting and chats are stupid.
-T.

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